Tails Snaps
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: For the little "voice" inside all of us...


Tails gripped the sides of the glass and gritted his teeth. Tears streamed down his face like a burrito with no folded ends. The miserable droplets fell from his face into his Orange Fanta and greatly increased its sodium content. He just wanted the pain to go away.

He knew he was different. He knew that some people were out there who would ridicule his additional rear appendage. He knew he could not help what kind of person he was on the outside. But he at least knew there were some who saw him for his heart rather than for his outward appearance.

But he was wrong, and the truth hurt immensely.

Earlier, Tails had been out for an afternoon jog. He had heard Sonic's voice and turned the corner excitedly to greet his friend. He saw Sonic talking to Knuckles and Shadow. They were snickering and Tails was highly curious of the topic.

Right before he was about to step into their view, he heard faint traces of their hilarity.

"Two butts on a guy is down right bonkers!" laughed Sonic.

"That guy is a total freak!" said Knuckles.

"And he's a shrimp to top it all off," added Shadow smugly. "What a loser!"

Tails knew who they were speaking of. He made a mad dash back to his lab and began his pity party, contemplating why he even ever considered such jerks as his best friends.

He downed the last bit of his Fanta and then eyed the precious family heirloom adourning his mantle: his great grandfather's machete.

Tails gripped the machete tightly in his hands. He looked down at his dual batoots in a mixture of blind rage, disgust, and tremendous sorrow.

"I can't take it anymore!" he cried as he swung the mighty knife down upon his twin tails, lopping the maniacal inconsistency clean off and wiping his identity clear of the many years of torment.

He stared down at his handiwork for what seemed like hours. Still angered, he ceremoniously tossed his great divide into the fireplace. He slowly returned to his stool and poured another glass of Fanta, leaving his past behind to burn in the liberating embers.

"And now, I'm just like everybody else…" he said into the carbonated beverage, sensing miniscule apparitions of regret.

Several days later, Tails met back up with hi friends. Needless to say, they were wholeheartedly shocked to see the young fox's transformation.

Tails eyed them with intense hatred. He had changed himself for the better, yet they still looked at him as though lobsters were crawling out of his ears.

"What?" Tails growled. "Must I sever the rest of limbs for you as well?" He took out the machete from behind his back. "Is appearance your only standard? You make me sick!"

Tails hacked and slashed. His friends ran away in fear. Now he had severed his ties with his best friends. "I have truly become a monster…" said Tails, weeping into his gloves like a dumb baby. Nothing had changed, he was even more of a freak than before.

Tails returned home, constructed a robotic tail, and attached it next to his original. He went to Sonic's house and apologised for his behaviour.

But it was too late.

Shadow and Knuckles had gotten into a fight over who had hurt Tails's feelings and they ended up fighting to the death. All that was left was Knuckles's Lego shoes and Shadow's Nokia flip phone.

Tails hugged Sonic tightly and they both cried together.

Tails sniffled. "It is okay because I'm a brilliant scientist," he whispered.

Sonic smiled. "You can do it, buddie. I always believe in you!"

So Tails inserted Shadow and Knuckles's remains into a special blender and blessed it with holy science oils. He also embellished it with the ashes of his discarded booty extremity. He shaved his head and wore sackcloth. Sonic followed suit and joined his best friend in the sacred ritual.

Tails placed his hands on the altar and recited Albert Einstein's famous Harvard speech backwards. Instantly, the blender began to glow. Shadow and Knuckles's spirits exited from the heavens and shot forth into their respective devices. The devices, in turn, metamorphosised into the original hedgehog and an echidna.

Tails and Sonic cried tears of joy and embraced their friends. "We have been restored!" said Knuckles, searching the divine skies for clues of his rebirth.

"Aye, we are all restored," said Sonic. He winked at Tails and gave him a brotherly noogie.

Tails smiled. Friendship was a magical thing. Your butt should never decide your destiny.

**FIN**


End file.
